Trudeau-Mania 2.0: The New High

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Let us hypothetically step forward to October 2015 to the 42nd Canadian general election.  And let’s say that the electorate chooses Justin Trudeau to lead this country and the uninformed misled voter thought this was the best answer to removing Stephen Harper from power.  After all, any choice is better than Stephen, right?

Well, welcome to the new and abused Canada.  Let’s celebrate the first inaugural with a big fatty.  After all, it is legal now.  We can create a new tax from the sale of pot.  This revenue will help Justin and his cohorts afford the munchies they will need.

And speaking of a new revenue tool, enter a new carbon tax ala Gerald Butts (yeah, the same eco-nut that fathered the disastrous Green Energy Act under McGuinty in Ontario).  This will surely fix our problems with the environment.  Without question, Justin will raise enough tax dollars this way to fix everything.  A carbon tax is a tax on everything after all, so surely it will fix everything.  But if not, maybe he can use the extra cash to buy some more weed.

No worries about the budget though.  After all, budgets balance themselves.  And the voter will be gouged again; repealed limits on the TFSA’s, the end of the UCCB and when it comes to income splitting, well, just forget it.  After all, “benefiting every single family isn’t what is fair.” But then again, we’ll have more than enough tax revenues collected through cap and trade.

Free abortions for everyone!  If you are anything other than pro-choice, Justin’s choice, you need not apply.  Don’t worry about that baby life you just murdered; society couldn’t possibly help you out anyway.  It’s not like life will find a way or anything.

It will be great when Justin meets up with Vladimir Putin.  He’ll just offer parkas to the Russians and let them beat us at hockey and everything will be okay.  No need to worry about Putin infringing upon our Canadian arctic sovereignty, Justin can leave that to the scientists to debate.

And as for ISIL radical extremists; all is well.  Justin wants to understand them and find out why they feel excluded from society.  A few prayers at the local mosque and we can include all terrorists into our society and give them warm hugs while they try to kill us.  What are a few acts of terrorism when it comes to collecting votes?

And don’t forget that Justin loves and admires the basic Chinese dictatorship.  Perhaps he will blend some communist laws into Canadian culture so we can all live squashed under his thumb.  We’ll go to sleep one night, and the next day another fuddle duddle like the Multiculturalism Act will be forced down our throats.

I am glad that Justin can decide who runs for which office.  He promised us open nominations but he knows better than the rest of us mere mortals.  After all, he is the ‘chosen one’. It seems ‘honest’ liberals don’t have a place in his caucus or party anymore. He is so smart; he knows who will kiss his buttocks and who won’t.

I am also happy that he was able to share his voice and go off on various public speaking tangents when he was supposed to be sitting in parliament to vote on important issues.  After all, he needed the money (his trust fund just wasn’t enough) and he always has something so very important and God given to impart upon us all.  Like his pals Saint David Suzuki and Mr. Gerald Butts, he knows the average Canadian sheep needs to be told what to do and how to think.  Thank goodness we have Justin, son of the old Fuddle Duddle Himself.  It is so important that we as Canadians keep repeating our mistakes.  We need to keep liberals in power so they can trash our economy, keep us off the world stage as a leader, gouge taxpayers and to tell conservatives that we really don’t know anything.  Who else could do such a great job?

He is so cute many would say.  And that is just what our country needs – another pretty face with fabulous hair.

Oh Canada.

 

About Kevin

Kevin is a Canadian citizen, writer & blogger.
This entry was posted in Federal Politics, Satire, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Trudeau-Mania 2.0: The New High

  1. hockeygail46 says:

    Excellent post Kevin and very accurate. I have shared this on Twitter and FB.

  2. BCgirl says:

    Brilliant post. You have little Justin nailed., A Canadian sell out, just like his daddy. Shallow boy with his silver spoon. I wish his hair was at least something I could get excited about, but not even that. Sorry Justin. A 3 year old will love you. You are not ready to adult things yet.

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